After two violent orgasms over Skype, I was falling asleep.

" . . . and then you won't feel the pressure to leave me," I heard myself say through a haze of lethargy. 

"What?  Leave you?  Why would I leave you?"  The anxiety in his voice woke me.

"What did I just say?" I asked him.  He told me.  "I don't know why I said that.  I really don't.  What were we talking about before?"  He doesn't remember.  "Hold on, let me think . . . no.  No.  I really don't know why I said that.  Maybe it was my subconcious mind hijacking my mouth."

Perhaps I am afraid he'd leave me.  That, again, I'll be deemed as lacking and dismissed.  My waking mind hadn't gotten there but obviously part of me had.

"Hey.  Listen.  I told you before.  I'm a stayer."

And I smiled.  Everything was good again.